Okay, so we're just going to file this under "I Seriously Hope a Head Injury Can Explain this Behavior."
etlover: hey
me: hello.
etlover: how are you
me: fine. you?
etlover: im doin good
etlover: where u from
me: um... did you read my profile?
etlover: only for a sec
me: but not the part right at the top that says...where I'm from?
etlover: ohhh your gettin funny you fucking alien
me: lol. alien? okay.
etlover: extra terestrial
etlover: E.T
me: yeah, I got that part. just not sure why you're calling me one.
etlover: it wouldn't be cause you look like an alien or anything
me: oh, so that's where this is going.
etlover: maybe
me: that would be highly mature and dignified of you.
etlover: stfu you alien
etlover: seriously goo back to mars
me: lol. have you been drinking?
etlover: i dnt drink
me: then what's your excuse?
etlover: the fact that you look like an alien maybe.....
etlover: perhaps
me: oh, you're just a jackass? got it.
etlover: ur an alien
me: okay, if you say so.
etlover: i do say sooo
etlover: i shuld contact the auothorites
me: so you didn't read my profile, and you think I look like an alien. what was the point of IMing me?
etlover: cause ive never talked to a alien before
etlover: and i my penis is quite sizeable
me: well. you still haven't. and...congratulations?
etlover: soo your not an alien
me: not that I'm aware of.
etlover: i beg to differ
me: on what grounds?
etlover: on the grounds that you look liek an alien
me: alright. well I'm about done here. have anything substantial to say, or are you just going to continue being ridiculous?
etlover: alien
me: okay. have a good night, then.
etlover: k alien
I don't even think there's anything else I can say about this. Except that Amadei has Psychic Tagging Abilities.
Showing posts with label et no phone home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label et no phone home. Show all posts
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Return of IRMEDD420
What I neglected to mention in this post was that our good friend IRMEDD420 actually did IM me later that day. You remember IRMEDD420, right? He CAN BE A VERY SEXUALLY DOMINANT MAN and you should message him if you don’t mind that he doesn’t have a car. Now that we’re up to speed…
Because I am, at heart, a nice person, I talked to him for a while. Here are some choice snippets:
IRMEDD420: which pic is mosr recent?
IRMEDD420: most*
Me: the one at the top with the headphones.
Implied text: Y’know, the one labeled “November 2009” whereas the other two are labeled “May 2009” and “April 2009.”
IRMEDD420: i would love to take you out
Me: why's that?
IRMEDD420: cause your sexy lol
Me: well, that's a given. :P
Don’t look at me like that; you know I’m sexy.
IRMEDD420: you like a dominant guy?
Me: i suppose it depends on what he's dominating at.
IRMEDD420: in a sexual way
I gave him an out! Did you see that? I gave him an opening to not be creepy AND HE DIDN’T TAKE IT.
IRMEDD420: i bet your body is nice
Me: it has its moments.
IRMEDD420: i wish i could see your ass
If wishes were fishes, my friend.
IRMEDD420: you wanna go out tiffany?
Either he has more than one conversation going or he’s taking me out to buy some expensive jewelry. I’d go if it were the latter.
Me: to tiffany?
IRMEDD420: sorry that was another i/m comp keeps fucking up
IRMEDD420: i want to take you :)
IRMEDD420: out*
IRMEDD420: lol
IRMEDD420: [telephone number redacted, though I was tempted to leave it in hopes someone would prank him]
Yes. Yes, he did just give me his telephone number. If only it worked like that with that cute guy over there.
Me: pretend you're me for a minute. some random dude ims you and says he wants to take you out. you know nothing about this person. why would i want to put myself at risk like that?
IRMEDD420: are you attracted to me? i'm attracted to you i've made that quite clear
What I’m gathering from this is that because he finds me attractive, we should go out. I’m guessing that works on some girls, but considering he called me another girl’s name, I’m disinclined to acquiesce to his request.
Means no.
IRMEDD420: [gives his number again]
Me: do you think you're more likely to take me out if you speak to me?
IRMEDD420: yes
Me: why's that?
IRMEDD420: idk if you dont wanna i wont beg
Me: indeed.
IRMEDD420: so whats the decision woman?
Me: i'm gonna have to pass.
Seriously? He’s not going to beg, but he gave me his number twice? If that’s not begging, I don’t know what is. :P
I also wish he'd actually answered my question. Why would speaking to him make it more likely that we'd go out?
Because I am, at heart, a nice person, I talked to him for a while. Here are some choice snippets:
IRMEDD420: which pic is mosr recent?
IRMEDD420: most*
Me: the one at the top with the headphones.
Implied text: Y’know, the one labeled “November 2009” whereas the other two are labeled “May 2009” and “April 2009.”
IRMEDD420: i would love to take you out
Me: why's that?
IRMEDD420: cause your sexy lol
Me: well, that's a given. :P
Don’t look at me like that; you know I’m sexy.
IRMEDD420: you like a dominant guy?
Me: i suppose it depends on what he's dominating at.
IRMEDD420: in a sexual way
I gave him an out! Did you see that? I gave him an opening to not be creepy AND HE DIDN’T TAKE IT.
IRMEDD420: i bet your body is nice
Me: it has its moments.
IRMEDD420: i wish i could see your ass
If wishes were fishes, my friend.
IRMEDD420: you wanna go out tiffany?
Either he has more than one conversation going or he’s taking me out to buy some expensive jewelry. I’d go if it were the latter.
Me: to tiffany?
IRMEDD420: sorry that was another i/m comp keeps fucking up
IRMEDD420: i want to take you :)
IRMEDD420: out*
IRMEDD420: lol
IRMEDD420: [telephone number redacted, though I was tempted to leave it in hopes someone would prank him]
Yes. Yes, he did just give me his telephone number. If only it worked like that with that cute guy over there.
Me: pretend you're me for a minute. some random dude ims you and says he wants to take you out. you know nothing about this person. why would i want to put myself at risk like that?
IRMEDD420: are you attracted to me? i'm attracted to you i've made that quite clear
What I’m gathering from this is that because he finds me attractive, we should go out. I’m guessing that works on some girls, but considering he called me another girl’s name, I’m disinclined to acquiesce to his request.
Means no.
IRMEDD420: [gives his number again]
Me: do you think you're more likely to take me out if you speak to me?
IRMEDD420: yes
Me: why's that?
IRMEDD420: idk if you dont wanna i wont beg
Me: indeed.
IRMEDD420: so whats the decision woman?
Me: i'm gonna have to pass.
Seriously? He’s not going to beg, but he gave me his number twice? If that’s not begging, I don’t know what is. :P
I also wish he'd actually answered my question. Why would speaking to him make it more likely that we'd go out?
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Internet and the Art of Speed Dating
I think what gets me the most about Internet dating is that people tend to want to go at the speed of light instead of letting a relationship grow and blossom on its own accord.
CraftyCanuck: hi there
Me: hello
CraftyCanuck: nice tomeeet u
This is exactly what I mean. We haven’t actually met, have we? Not even in really the Internet-meaning of “meet” as I don’t even know his name. He did, eventually, introduce himself, though. Then, the moving too fast continued.
CraftyCanuck: have you been single long
Me: about a year, i suppose.
CraftyCanuck: not much fun is it
Gets right down to business, doesn’t he?
CraftyCanuck: i am 40 is that ok with you
Me: why wouldn't it be?
CraftyCanuck: thought you might be looking for around your age
Me: according to your profile, you're also in canada, no?
My point here is that even if he’s forty years old, HE’S IN CANADA, so it’s no skin off my nose to just talk to the guy. According to Google Maps, he’s approximately seven hours from where I live. This nuance was lost on CraftyCanuck, though, as he proceeded to tell me that Canada’s “not that far” from where I live.
Unless his penis is made of solid gold, I’m pretty sure it’s “that far.”
CraftyCanuck: do you have kids?
Me: nope.
Me: unless you count my kitten.
CraftyCanuck: lol do you want kids
Me: someday. :)
CraftyCanuck: kool how many do you want?
Me: somewhere between 1 and 3.
CraftyCanuck: kool 3-4 would be nice
At this point, we’ve been talking for approximately ten minutes. Now, I want kids. I really want kids. I would like nothing more than to have a couple running around willy-nilly. I feel, however, that this is more of a third/fourth date sort of conversation.
In other words, bringing it up now? Not gonna lie—that’s creepy. Not as creepy as this, though:
CraftyCanuck: do u drive
Me: i do.
CraftyCanuck: me2
CraftyCanuck: do u have ur own place
Me: i have a roommate.
CraftyCanuck: they always there lol
Me: most of the time.
CraftyCanuck: ok then you might have to come here lol
Because driving to Canada to meet some forty year old guy I’ve been talking to for twenty minutes is a FABULOUS IDEA. Let me go fill up my car with some gasoline and hit the road!
Let's be clear here: when I had an Internet friend who I had met before in person come stay with me, I made sure my roommate would be home not because I didn't trust that Internet friend but because I trust no Internet people the first few times.
I believe this has kept me out of the newspaper headlines.
CraftyCanuck: maybe we should talk on the phone next then
CraftyCanuck: would u like that?
Me: i don't generally give out my phone number to people i've talked to once.
CraftyCanuck: i dont bite lol
Me: i'm sure.
CraftyCanuck: kool it would be niceto sayhi
CraftyCanuck: whats your number plz
Me: i'm not giving out my number. sorry.
CraftyCanuck: no prob just thought be niceto talk
And thus the conversation ended on a bit of a whiny note from my new Canadian friend. After that, he asked me what I liked to do, and I answered, but didn't get another response.
Note to self: Be more forceful when stating that I’m not giving out my phone number. Something more like “HELL TO THE NO, CREEPSTER.”
CraftyCanuck: hi there
Me: hello
CraftyCanuck: nice tomeeet u
This is exactly what I mean. We haven’t actually met, have we? Not even in really the Internet-meaning of “meet” as I don’t even know his name. He did, eventually, introduce himself, though. Then, the moving too fast continued.
CraftyCanuck: have you been single long
Me: about a year, i suppose.
CraftyCanuck: not much fun is it
Gets right down to business, doesn’t he?
CraftyCanuck: i am 40 is that ok with you
Me: why wouldn't it be?
CraftyCanuck: thought you might be looking for around your age
Me: according to your profile, you're also in canada, no?
My point here is that even if he’s forty years old, HE’S IN CANADA, so it’s no skin off my nose to just talk to the guy. According to Google Maps, he’s approximately seven hours from where I live. This nuance was lost on CraftyCanuck, though, as he proceeded to tell me that Canada’s “not that far” from where I live.
Unless his penis is made of solid gold, I’m pretty sure it’s “that far.”
CraftyCanuck: do you have kids?
Me: nope.
Me: unless you count my kitten.
CraftyCanuck: lol do you want kids
Me: someday. :)
CraftyCanuck: kool how many do you want?
Me: somewhere between 1 and 3.
CraftyCanuck: kool 3-4 would be nice
At this point, we’ve been talking for approximately ten minutes. Now, I want kids. I really want kids. I would like nothing more than to have a couple running around willy-nilly. I feel, however, that this is more of a third/fourth date sort of conversation.
In other words, bringing it up now? Not gonna lie—that’s creepy. Not as creepy as this, though:
CraftyCanuck: do u drive
Me: i do.
CraftyCanuck: me2
CraftyCanuck: do u have ur own place
Me: i have a roommate.
CraftyCanuck: they always there lol
Me: most of the time.
CraftyCanuck: ok then you might have to come here lol
Because driving to Canada to meet some forty year old guy I’ve been talking to for twenty minutes is a FABULOUS IDEA. Let me go fill up my car with some gasoline and hit the road!
Let's be clear here: when I had an Internet friend who I had met before in person come stay with me, I made sure my roommate would be home not because I didn't trust that Internet friend but because I trust no Internet people the first few times.
I believe this has kept me out of the newspaper headlines.
CraftyCanuck: maybe we should talk on the phone next then
CraftyCanuck: would u like that?
Me: i don't generally give out my phone number to people i've talked to once.
CraftyCanuck: i dont bite lol
Me: i'm sure.
CraftyCanuck: kool it would be niceto sayhi
CraftyCanuck: whats your number plz
Me: i'm not giving out my number. sorry.
CraftyCanuck: no prob just thought be niceto talk
And thus the conversation ended on a bit of a whiny note from my new Canadian friend. After that, he asked me what I liked to do, and I answered, but didn't get another response.
Note to self: Be more forceful when stating that I’m not giving out my phone number. Something more like “HELL TO THE NO, CREEPSTER.”
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