Friday, June 15, 2012

Have a Nice Curves!

George Carlin did a hilarious bit about how he didn't appreciate being told to have a "nice" day:

Have a nice day, indeed! Maybe I don’t feel like having a nice day. Maybe—just maybe—I’ve had twenty-seven nice days in a row, and I’m ready for a crappy day. You never hear that, do you?

But then he explains a little bit about why he doesn't appreciate being told to have a nice day, specifically because of the word "nice."

I think what bothers me most about the whole “nice day” thing is that word “nice.” It’s a weak word. It doesn’t have a lot of character. Nice.

“Isn’t he nice? He is so nice. And she’s nice too! Isn’t that nice? How nice they are!”

I don’t care for it. It’s like “fine.” Another weak word.

It's not very descriptive, is it? It's one of those words when you can't think of another word to fill in the cracks--whatever you're describing wasn't horrible, but neither was it amazing or awesome. The dictionary defines nice as "pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory" all of which imply that something was definitely not bad, but not exactly high on the good side of the continuum, either.

There's not a lot of strength behind nice, and that's really it's purpose--you didn't really have an opinion on whatever it was you were being forced to describe, but you know you can't really have a negative opinion, so nice will suffice.

As an English speaking society, we've decided that nice is our synonym for that feeling of "eh, it's alright, I guess, if I had to say something positive, yannow...?" Everyone who uses nice realizes this, at least subconsciously, the same way we know that "she has a great personality" means she's fat and/or ugly and/or not the brightest crayon in the box and/or your best friend's sister.

So why is it that the last two messages I've received on OKCupid have told me that I have "nice curves" and "nice hair?"

I would certainly hope any man I date thinks my curves are more than just satisfactory.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Three Messages

I haven't checked my OKCupid inbox since the beginning of February, but I just got an e-mail notification that I had a message, so I went in and found three new messages! If I had gotten three new messages in a little over a month when I was still single, I would have been shocked and of course they come when I'm not single.

Message the First

first thing i see from this site is that gun you are holding lol

Fair enough; my main profile picture is me and a Stormtrooper from last year's Dragon*Con. What's a little weird about this guy is that under the "The most private thing I'm willing to admit here" section, he has "Aliens are gods."

So that's a little weird.

Message the Second

Do like hot, passionate sex talk? I bet we could have some real fun together.....

This is yet another instance when I wonder if this ever works. I would like to know the percentage of women who would get that message and think, "You know...I really do like hot, passionate sex talk. I should definitely e-mail this guy back."

Kudos for the use of the comma after "hot," though; normally those messages are rife with illiteracy. I almost want to message the guy and ask him to talk to me slowly...grammatically...

Message the Third

I would like to be your friend and know you, I think that knowing a person is like, open a new workbook, you always learn new things

I've heard the phrase "like an open book," but I'm not entirely sure I like being compared to a workbook. For some reason, that brings back visions of those awful enrichment math books my mom used to get for me in elementary school because I struggled with multiplication and division.