I've been unenthralled with online dating as of late, hence the absence. But this guy made me laugh (in a "wow, you're psychologically messed up" way), so I had to share.
He sent me an IM last night. (I'm not obscuring his name in any way. It's stupid too.)
KISS-ME-FIRST: nice cat
Me: yeah, she's pretty cool.
KISS-ME-FIRST: yeah i like black cats especially during halloween
Me: I like her all the time. if I only liked her once a year, I'd be a bad pet owner.
KISS-ME-FIRST: i use to have a cat and a dog
Me: I had a dog for a while, too.
And that was it. Was I impressed? No. But I probably would have continued the conversation.
Then he sent me another IM about a half hour ago. It's snowing here in Connecticut today, so most people don't have to go to work. I, unfortunately, do.
KISS-ME-FIRST: hey, wanna hit the casino?
Me: I have to work today.
KISS-ME-FIRST: how about tonight
Me: ...I do work tonight.
Me: I'm not going anywhere with a stranger anyway.
KISS-ME-FIRST: you're not spontaneous at all. boring, i bet you just sit there like a little prissy on a date. not what i want. do me a favor delete your account, because your just wasting space on here.
Wow. Okay, maybe I could see that reaction if I insulted him. I just said I didn't know him. Which, uh...I don't. Because a five minute conversation isn't really enough to not call someone a "stranger."
Me: and tell me where I said I was spontaneous again? because I never did.
Me: sorry, I don't know anything about you, and I'm not going anywhere with you after a half of a conversation. if that's "prissy" to you, so be it.
KISS-ME-FIRST: i know one thing for sure you are WORTHLESS!
Me: lol, okay, thanks. you're too kind.
Really, dude? That's a meaningful world for someone with such a small brain to be using.
Me: if you think you're hurting my feelings, you're severely deluded.
KISS-ME-FIRST: WHAT A LOSER. OK-CUPID DELETE THIS RETARD
Me: delete me for...? being cautious and not liking YOU? yeah, that's valid.
KISS-ME-FIRST: i Guess i can pray that you come to your senses and delete your account ant do man kind a service
Yes. I'd be doing mankind a service by deleting my online dating profile. I'm betting, by his logic, we can eliminate world hunger with a single Facebook status update. Why haven't we done this?!
Me: are you really wondering why I won't meet you? really? look at your behavior.
I had to contain myself, because I really wanted to follow that with, "Look at your life! Look at your choices!" Oh, Sassy Gay Friend... Ahem, anyway.
KISS-ME-FIRST: listen i dont need a mommy. please do the right thing get lost
Me: such a classic reaction to rejection. congratulations.
He's acting like a petulant child. I think he might actually need a mommy...
KISS-ME-FIRST: obvious, YOU'VE NEVER WENT ON ADATE WITH A REAL MAN THEN. bye RETARD
And that was the amusing start to my snowy day.