I'm off from work today and managed to get all my errands done before noon (trust me, no one's more surprised about that than I am). So I'm just hanging around, watching a little Maury, waiting for the throngs of eligible men to send me messages.
But instead...I get this.
ykantireed: nice hair color
me: uh... thanks?
ykantireed: u welcome
Seriously, that's your opening line? Okay.
me: is...that all you have to say?
ykantireed: not really u cute too
me: okay then.
ykantireed: what do u do for fun?
me: did you read my profile or just look at the pictures?
ykantireed: no i did nor read your profile
ykantireed: nice lips
There are few things that annoy me more than a conversation based solely upon superficial observations. Superficial observations about anything. Small talk about the weather; statements such as "I like pie"; or a man's pathetic attempts to compliment my appearance, thinking that earns them points in my arbitrary scoring system. This is even more bothersome in the context of online dating, when I've typed multiple paragraphs of candid information about myself, so that a potential mate may learn something about me before initiating a conversation. This does not happen.
me: nice to know I put the effort into writing that just so it can be ignored.
ykantireed: i see u write a lot ab out your self
me: yeah, so I can avoid being asked stupid questions. it obviously doesn't accomplish that.
ykantireed: that's true
You're agreeing with me...as I'm clearly talking about you. Oblivious much?
me: yeah, anyway... was that it?
ykantireed: u have a cute cat
Now, I love my cat. But come on.
me: great, more stuff about the pictures.
ykantireed: so what do u up too
me: being annoyed by the people who send me IMs.
ykantireed: oh sorry about that i'm disturbe u?
me: wouldn't be so bad if anyone had actually bothered to learn something about me before they started a conversation.
ykantireed: u right about that
Again...you're agreeing. Okay.
ykantireed: can ask what is your name?
me: ...seriously?
ykantireed: yes
me: it's the FIRST LINE of my profile.
me: you can't even read the first line?
My name is literally the second word in the text of my profile. If you can't get that far, we're not a good fit. In fact, I'd prefer to sequester you on an island with others of your kind, and perhaps force sterilization upon you.
I'm five for five this afternoon on "men who don't give two shits who I am and only care what I look like." Why is it I bother again?
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