Thursday, January 28, 2010

Cuddle Monster

When I first started looking at profiles on the various Internet dating websites, I came across a lot, many, dare I say it oodles of guys who say that they like to cuddle. Or that they love to cuddle. Or even that they’re really, really good at cuddling. I thought that was a little odd.

I’ve come to believe that what they’re actually saying is “I’m not like other guys! I don’t just want sex! Really! No! Really, I swear! I just want to cuddle!” Which may or may not be true, but what I really don’t understand is why do they think a woman is more likely to say “Yes, I want to come over and cuddle with you, Strange Man on the Internet” than “Yes, I want to have lots of casual sex, Strange Man on the Internet!” It boggles my mind.

I think this is my favourite random cuddling invitation.

CM: do you like to cuddle
Me: usually.
CM: who do you live with?
Me: one of my best friends, his cat & my kitten. :D
CM: have you ever cuddled with a doctor before
Me: can't say that i have.
CM: do you want to
Me: i'm not sure how it would be any different than cuddling with a nurse practitioner, really.
CM: who is the nurse practioner?

My humour—wasted on the mouth-breathing masses…the mouth-breathing masses who will make more money in a year than I will in my lifetime. Dammit.

Anyway, after some chitchat about whether or not I like to drink and what time I have to work in the morning, he asked me…

CM: do you want to cuddle tonight
Me: why would i want to cuddle tonight?
CM: because my bodies warm

I should have guessed that, I suppose. Needless to say, I still haven’t cuddled with a doctor.

1 comment:

  1. I lost it at the nurse practitioner comment. Lol, so incredibly epic. So damned sad that he was that dumb.