But At Least We Could Talk About It...

This is the first message I got on OKCupid that made me go "Huh?"

From: [handle redacted, even though I really wanted to leave it as it only adds to the WTFery]
Subject: Hello Brutally Honest

Hi Did you ever just what to shake your parents up ? If yes you should email my back ... By me showing up with a breed ... and old-enough to be your father and some ... we can shake up the world ... I love to travel ... have a motorcycle ... I'm great at canoeing and looking forward canoeing the John Henizs Nature Center near Phil. ... If you reply we can at least talk about it ... ha ... lol ... thanks ... HUGS Howard ... ex New Yorker in Pa

His major selling points include

• the opportunity to "shake my parents up"
• being the same age as my mother
• having much skill with a canoe
  
• being a "breed," and
  
• many ellipses.
  

I know you're all jealous and in SHOCK that I didn't message him back...but being an ex-New Yorker? That's such a dealbreaker for me.