Friday, March 12, 2010

Ama’s Best of Craigslist, Part I

I know that picking on Craigslist personals is like shooting fish in a barrel, but sometimes I just can't help myself.

From the men looking for women section of the Philadelphia, PA Cragislist.

Looking for a lady who loves tickling feet - 40 (Berwyn)
I am a single professional man with a unique interest. I love having a woman tie me up and tickle torture my feet. There is nothing I can do to hold back the laughter. I also enjoy giving my partner a really good foot tickling and watching her laugh hysterically. I am searching for a woman with very ticklish feet who would like to get together on a regular basis for a few hours of stress relieving mutual tickling fun.

This is weird enough on its own, but what really put me over the edge was that he wants this to be an on-going thing. I’m thinking maybe he should try a Cuddle Party.

NEED TO RELOCATE ? - 55 (upper bucks)
Tired of paying that outragious rent need to get away for whatever reason , this economy sucks so wherever you can save we all do it , which brings me to the subject i have a very lg mobile home in upper bucks your part would be $400-$450 full facilities now for the pitch in lieu of that lowent and if the chemestry is good for us both must include sex from tome to time , if i still got your attn. im drama free you be too. like weightlifting nice home jym m/c harley of course boating and movies ( horror) very laid back semi couch potato if this sounds interesting to you lets meet and talk see what happens . Age unimportant no kids sorry attractive a big plus will only answer to those that also send pic and i will return mine , if i dont write back its probably the fact that every body has a type there looking for maybe i wont be yours either . Sorry about this being a little unorthadox but i dont hang out at clubs and im retired so i dont meet that many people and i suck at supermarkets haha.

In case you didn’t read through that block of text, here’s the synopsis: the man has a large mobile home and is looking for a roommate. The rent would be $400-450, HOWEVER, in lieu of that, if “the chemestry is good for us both must include sex from tome to time.”

So you can either pay that lowent or you can have carnal relations with a laid back semi couch potato. Be still my beating heart.

And for this last one, I’ll keep it simple:

wanna fuck now i can pick u up - 27 (any where in philly)
just wanting to fuck i can pick u up drop u off and i can host send a pic or descreiption or yuor number ill send a pic

That is just so undeniably classy.

What cracks me up the most is that he's so desperate to get laid that he'll post that ad, but he has standards so he needs to see the woman's picture first. Riiight....

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