Ever since Amadei showed me You Suck at CraigsList (which was yesterday, so I've clearly been ruminating on this long and hard), I thought the winners of CL deserved some attention here, as well.
First of all, let me say... I've posted several CL ads. And my responses are generally of questionable quality. But looking through the first page of CraigsList Hartford M4W LTR section has wrought...this.
This man fancies himself a poet.
HERE I LAY MY HEAD TO REST BUT ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS SOME NICE FIRM BREAST.. ,NICE AND PINK AND PINK DOWN LOW.. ,BUT DEFINATELY NOT PURPLE LIKE SOME FREAKIN HOE.. ,IVE SEARCHED THE BARS FROM NORTH TO SOUTH..,JUST TO FIND MYSELF GET SLAPPED IN THE MOUTH,..
Can't imagine why. In addition to being a pig, you're also yelling at them.
SPONTAINIOUS AND FUN IS ALL I DESIRE,..BEING KINKY AND PLEASURABLE WOULD JUST SET ME ON FIRE..,BEING PURE AND SWEET , BLONDE AND PETIT.., I WOULD LICK YOU THEN DICK YOU WITH MY BIG FUCKIN MEAT..,
Maybe it's just me, but the idea of being "dicked" with "meat" is not something I find appealing...
AFTER THATS ALL SAID AND DONE..,I WOULD NOT STOP UNTILL I MADE YOU CUM..,BEING HONEST AND SINCERE AND SAFE AS CAN BE..,I WOULD THEN UNTIE YOU AND THEN SET YOU FREE..,SO IF YOUR INTERESTED STILL AND LIKED WHAT YOUVE HEARD..,JUST GIVE ME A CALL AND SAY THE WORD..,WE COULD START SLOW AND BE DISCREET,.. YOU DONT HAVE TO TELL YOUR HUSBAND YOU JUST GOT SOME MEAT..,
But what if she went to the butcher shop? What if she just wanted to make dinner?
IM 6 FEET WHITE AT 175 SO HAPPY IM HERE AND STILL ALIVE,AT A NICE YOUNG AGE OF JUST 35..,AND YET I DONT HAVE A COLLAGE DEGREE..,IM STILL FUNNY AS HELL AND WILL MAKE YOU PEE..,
No "collage" degree? But everything is spelled perfectly and your grammar is impeccable!
NOT UGLY AT ALL BUT STILL IM ALONE..,I STILL HAVE TO DO SOMETHING WITH THIS BIG FUCKIN BONE..,THROBING AND THRUSTING LIKE SOME FREAKIN NUT ,I PROMISE TO BE NICE AND NOT CALL YOU A SLUT.!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, well, if you're not going to call me a slut, that makes it all better.
And now we have Mr. Run-On and his Band of Cliches.
hello thanks for taking the time well a little about me im a one woman type man seeking my partner in crime a best freind a confedon a lover i only have room for one love i hope your the one some one
Say the word "one" one more time. See what happens.
to make our escape plans for the border with some one to wisper sweet nothings to as lightly kissing there neck smelling her hair watching the fire cant wait to well u know thats the kind of love im seeking the i cant wait to see yous typ
This guy has been watching way too many movies. And poorly transcribing their scripts.
im genaraly a very passionate guy realy sweet and true but im also a mysterious man the one who makes u wounder i have blond hair blue eyes im a 180 5/9 white male with a little edge very clean cut but u can tell im not your average joe the one u love to hate and the one u hate to love cant help urself thats me a great protecter of whats mine iv earned it.
He's just everything, isn't he? That must get tiring.
i have a few battle scarse mostly on my heart and some visable for your eyes only well if you think u can handle the wise guy type then give a text or email text me a sweet nothing or mail one whatever
I have to ask... What is a "sweet nothing"? Sounds like the equivalent of empty calories to me. The bagels of love. I don't want that.
I can't hate on this guy that much. At least he has command of the English language.
Do you live a secret life? Are you the type of female that no one would ever suspect to fuck strangers? Do you like to lose control with someone you dont know? Do you get wet even on the drive over to their house because of the excitement?
If you answered yes to any of these questions you may be a sex addict. My cock is the cure. Email me.
The only thing is... I don't think he's being sarcastic.
Ladies and gentlemen... The men of CraigsList! They're here all week.