The Application

I wish I could make this kind of thing up because then…then I could look myself in the eye every morning and say, “Yes, the world is a beautiful place, but I will add some smattering of the bizarre into it and everyone will marvel at my total lack of connection with reality.”

Tagline: I pretty much have the coolest birthday. Ever.

That is actually interesting and made me think “Oooh, that’s a pretty cool approach. I wonder what ‘the coolest birthday ever’ IS.” So then I went all clicky-click on his handle and found this as his profile:

GIRLFRIEND APPLICATION

Copy and paste this into an email, fill it out, and send it back if you'd like to know more about me. Feel free to include references.

First Name:

Age:

Height:

Hometown:

Current town:

Did you go to college? If so where?:

What do you do for a living? Do you like it?

Describe your idea of a perfect day.

There's an unseasonalby warm Saturday in November, say 80 degrees. We had no set plans all day other than to hang out with one another. What would you like to do?

Write a few words below telling me why you think you would make a good girlfriend.

Buh-wah? Girlfriend…application…? Girlfriend application. An application to be his girlfriend? A. Girlfriend. Application.

I could chalk it up to a joke if he had then gone on and described himself. Or perhaps described himself first, but no. That's it. That's his entire profile.

I have not the words.