This is the kind of thing one is faced with on Valentine's Day weekend.
(9:35:09 pm)IAMLAME: well here is a virtual rose for you... @--->>---
(9:35:20 pm)me: ugh, no thanks.
(9:36:01 pm)me: that's cheesy.
(9:36:19 pm)IAMLAME: yeah I kinda agree it is cheesy
(9:36:27 pm)me: then...why do it?
(9:36:30 pm)IAMLAME: but If I could give real roses, trust me I would
(9:36:38 pm)me: real roses are cheesy, too.
(9:36:46 pm)IAMLAME: not why u say that?
(9:36:59 pm)IAMLAME: its the thought that counts..dont all girls love flowers
(9:37:17 pm)me: no. I know a lot of girls who actually don't want flowers, and I'm one of them.
(9:37:32 pm)IAMLAME: ok then what do you like to recieve?
(9:37:46 pm)me: nothing.
(9:38:02 pm)IAMLAME: what about cards?
(9:38:07 pm)me: no.
(9:38:25 pm)IAMLAME: wow, your hard
(9:38:53 pm)me: I just don't want people wasting their money on meaningless things.
Bear in mind this guy is thirty-six years old. If he doesn't know by now that not all women can be easily bought with flowers and cards, there's really no hope for him. And what man that age gives out virtual roses? I wanted to virtual vomit on him.
(9:44:36 pm)IAMLAME: happy belated birthday
(9:44:45 pm)me: um...it was almost a month ago. heh
(9:45:04 pm)IAMLAME: thats why I said happy belated
(9:45:33 pm)IAMLAME: belated is a week after. once you're past that, don't say anything.
(9:46:02 pm)IAMLAME: damn you are hard on me.. lol
(9:46:36 pm)me: just calling you out for trying too hard.
Are you serious? That's like wishing someone a Merry Christmas at the end of January. You wouldn't do that, so why would you wish me a happy birthday a month later? Oh right, I'm supposed to think he's "thoughtful" and "sweet." Of course.
(9:59:25 pm)IAMLAME: so what kinda things can I ask you, that you wont think is a wate of time, or cheesy?
(9:59:49 pm)me: I don't know. try something.
(10:00:42 pm)IAMLAME: what do you like most about liberal arts?
(10:00:59 pm)me: wow... that's a really dumb question.
(10:01:16 pm)IAMLAME: :)
(10:01:36 pm)me: no, you shouldn't be smiling. really.
(10:02:01 pm)IAMLAME: well I can
(10:02:27 pm)me: you can. but you shouldn't be.
My profile says I have a Liberals Arts degree. If one knows what "Liberal Arts" is, they know there's really nothing to like about it in this economy. Which leads me to believe this guy has no idea. And who asks that?
(10:05:28 pm)IAMLAME: do u text
(10:05:35 pm)me: yes.
(10:05:50 pm)IAMLAME: I love texting
(10:06:35 pm)IAMLAME: verozin or att&T
(10:06:48 pm)me: there are other cell phone companies.
(10:06:57 pm)IAMLAME: yeah but out of those two
(10:07:05 pm)me: in reference to what?
(10:07:13 pm)IAMLAME: which u prefer
(10:07:31 pm)me: um.. how am I supposed to know that if I've never used one or both?
(10:07:49 pm)IAMLAME: fine whos your cell provider
(10:08:20 pm)me: why does it matter? unless you're looking for advice on switching carriers.
(10:08:40 pm)IAMLAME: no I switched from Verizon to AT&T
(10:08:55 pm)me: then why does it matter who I'm with?
(10:09:26 pm)IAMLAME: it dont,
(10:09:42 pm)me: ...then why are you asking?
(10:10:11 pm)IAMLAME: I find u interesting
(10:10:30 pm)me: and that's what you want to know about me? my cell phone carrier? um, okay.
(10:11:27 pm)me: this keeps getting more lame.
I'm guessing this was about to segue into "let's text each other," but...no. Sorry. And apparently I'm to deduce from this that my most interesting characteristic has absolutely nothing to do with me, but everything to do with my wireless plan. Nice.
(10:12:09 pm)IAMLAME: is your name Asia?
(10:12:21 pm)me: did you read my profile?
(10:12:31 pm)IAMLAME: I glanced at it
(10:12:39 pm)me: that explains a lot.
And there you have it. This is the attentive man we've all been looking for, ladies!
It'd be nice if men got smarter as they got older. It is apparent that's not the case.